A Travellerspoint blog

Open Letter

To the one who seemed like my past is my present

Photo from http://www.spicecomments.com/comments/sadness/

Yes- I keep pics of my past in my camera. And why not. Just the way you keep your old memories and photos virtually. When we asked each other why, we failed the test. We both sucked. I knew it.

And for your information, yes- I only had 3 boyfriends in my life. The last one even had not been so comfortable calling him one because I loved him more than he loved me. And while I was there painfully loving him, he was there not sure what to do with me. Worst feeling ever. I don't want to go through it anymore.

I am free as a bird, can even run wild but I chose not to. And I must admit that I was out on dates with few guys either introduced to me or have met somewhere but nothing "official" came out of it. And one of those few dates lasted for sometime I thought will be "number four" but never happened.

So please, don't think I am shopping for characters in my old, sappy DC because it's not my cup of tea. And please don't punish me for going out on dates even before we met. Again, it happened all in my past. I can find men just as easy as you can find women. But I know who/ what I wanted.

I wished I can change my past but I can't just like I can't change yours. We all have bruises and scars. But yours is just starting to heal while mine is gone. I am ready to get broken and bruised just like before. It will take a lifetime for you to mend it and I cannot simply be the one to take your tears and fears away.

I am here now. You and me that's why it's called the present. It's what we have. Our past should not matter. The future does.

You kept asking me why I opted to be on the same latitude as you were. You don't really get it, do you? I thought you were smarter than that.

I need not tell you the reason was because I thought we deserve a chance. Like a broken record, like a wounded soldier, like the falling of a leaf must to have a reason. But you still don't get it.

On the a side note, I began to question myself, why I see my feet beside yours and why my legs are on the same area as you were. Like a clueless kid who does not know the meaning of every action, it then hit me.

Game over.

And then my ride must leave. And so am I.

Posted by Bella_Luna 09:24 Archived in Philippines Tagged random thoughts

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