Salve a Tutti

Gosh, I've been MIA (missing in action) for a looooong time and all I could remember from my last trip was that my lips tasted Bali sun and wind (am I weird eh, you can just imagine how it would taste, eh).

The reason why I had not been able to write these days is because I had been very busy with this thing called "job". Apart from being a freelance makeup artist, I keep a regular job. In between shoots and makeup gigs, I always tell myself I am loving life! My love affair with cosmetics is making others happy and it gives me satisfaction that I have a special gift.

And now you ask, where's gonna be my next destination? I have flight tickets to Seoul in November in time for US Thanksgiving but I think I am not going. The reason is because.... tadah....I am broke... Yeah, the reason being is because all my money trip went to a good cause (family, etc.). So I have finally set my red luggage to rest for 2011 and perhaps use it come 2012.

So far, my friends Ryan N and Annie are saving for a 2012 Euro trip (oh my fingers crossed!). JB and I also plan to go to Bali my March which means I need to work like donkey and save moolah for these travels! My mind is asking, where to find a rich husband, lol..

I miss blogging and traveling. And I am starting to miss Beijing too! I miss Chekwa and the chinese food. I wanna go to the Great Wall again and take lots of pics! I miss everything about Beijing. I always say I have no reason to come back but since it holds a special place in my heart, I always want to come and visit.

If only I have free tickets to Beijing, I shall hop on that plane ..

For now, I'm just thankful that even if I can't afford to travel now, I have very nice memories to keep me by until my next trip.

Ciao a tutti!

I am still in awe... Yes with Bali! Growing up in a tropical country similar to Bali, I didn't expect too much. Well except for the fact that the culture in Bali is much much more different than the Philippines.

First of all, there is no direct flight from Manila to Bali so I had to transit from SG as I booked my flight thinking Helen will be in Singapura waiting for me. But turned out, she got pregnant after my SG trip and had to stay in Manila. But all is good since I am so good in solo travelling and decided to keep my original itinerary of 3 days stay in SG before hopping on that plane to Bali.

Ryan- a colleague from work was a day early in Bali. He transited from KL and saw each other on the night I flew in from Singapore!

So how is Bali? Ahhhh... Bali is love, love, love!

• **This is moi with Abbe- our Bali guide

But then again, my trip would not be complete without the usual attempt to be a real Balinese girl so I finally gave in.

Hope you like it! Ciao a tutti!

Okay- I am bluffing... Hahaha....

I figured I am gonna name my new buy, Charice because I was inspired by her "Sunshine Corazon" character in a Glee episode. I have always wanted to buy new pair of glasses because mine was very outdated like 2 years ago and was unable to go back to an eye doctor for a re check up.

But I finally gave in after Baba told me it's okay to get a new pair and promised not to say a word. You see, Baba has been teaching me how to be more frugal these days.

So, ladies and gentlemen, presenting my "Charice":

Please excuse the blurry photo as this was taken using my Blackberry which happens to take very bad pictures, lol..

So from Sunshine Corazon:

To moi:

Yeah, I just love to sing Telephone by Lady Gaga, hihihihi.....

I've probably said this many times but I am going to say this again: "Yes- I love cosmetics and I love painting people's faces too."

I had the chance to work with my photographer friend Ryan, once again. It was one Sunday morning and so far the most number of models I had in my MUA career so far, lol.

I also have to say that this is my very first studio photoshoot so I was excited much, weeee

Anyways- here are the photos from that shoot.

Photography: JRNunez
MUA: Moi

Ciao a tutti!

Photo: http://hulenhills.com.s96387.gridserver.com/treats-can-add-pounds-to-pets/dog-eating-ice-cream/

What?!? Yes- crazy men! Lol!

I kinda have a feeling I did something terribly wrong in my past lifetime that I am paying the price now.

You see- I had been meeting the wrong kind of men lately. And I wasn't actively looking for them, I swear.

Two things: Either they landed on my lap or fate dictates that I should be meeting these frog prince(s).

Guy#1:
Location: SG
Age: Late twenties
Looks: Dark, Tall, Cute

• Let's just say yes I thought he was cute and all but then I was kinda feeling something wasn't right.

• He claims to have moved on from his past relationship in his efforts to keep me from keeping a distance.

• The story is kind of old story.

• Heartbroken.

• Recently single.

• But claims to me in all our early conversations that he has moved on?

• Impossible? I know. But who am I to judge him?

• Then later on he was singing a different tune.

• Now he claims he still loves her.

• But wait- he still likes to see me and claims he likes me.

Ending: Ano daw? Duh. Men!~

Guy#2:
Location: MNL
Age: 40ish
Looks: Cute, Funny, Charming, Sweet, Smells really good

• Classic story.

• Could not commit.

• Wanted to spend time alone being single.

• Likes to flirt with women.

• But claims he is just friendly.

• He said he wants to keep me, but since I don't really like to depend my happiness to any person except myself, I had to check my brain.

• I mean I can be happier if I got someone but if he'll be the reason whenever my brain hurts then that is crazy.

Ending: I allowed him to see his "other friends" so to speak.

Have you ever asked yourself why you keep on meeting the wrong set of men? I do too.

Either we allow them to treat us this way or we are simply just hopeful. Hopeful that he'll be the one to make our lives more colorful.

Ladies- not true. We are the exception.

If any guy says he is not ready to commit, he isn't ready to commit. And when he says he has moved on and yet you still see he's posting something on his ex's facebook profile, he's fucking with you.

The next things you need to do are these: Buy ice cream and get a dog.

The ice cream can cool you down and your dog will be the next best thing that can ever be loyal to you.

Ciao a tutti...

Photos from http://207.63.101.203/pgpages/pagegen.256.aspx

You see- I am not really maarte (translation: i.e. diva, drama queen, or too girly). Well, actually no direct English translation but that's the closest I can think of so far.

I am not particularly the outdoorsy type of girl because I abhor the chance of sweating except of course when I am exercising but sometimes I always wonder how is it to live in the "wild".

Yes- I am a fan of makeup and since I sweat a little more than the average girl, I like to live in a much cooler place, lol.

But I am so interested to see gibbons or experience the true and old asia which according to many can only be found in Laos.

But what are gibbons anyway?

Gibbons are apes in the family Hylobatidae ( /ˌhaɪlɵˈbeɪtɨdiː/). The family is divided into four genera based on their diploid chromosome number: Hylobates (44), Hoolock (38), Nomascus (52), and Symphalangus (50).[2][3] The extinct Bunopithecus sericus is a gibbon or gibbon-like ape which, until recently, was thought to be closely related to the hoolock gibbons.[2] Gibbons occur in tropical and subtropical rainforests from northeast India to Indonesia and north to southern China, including the islands of Sumatra, Borneo and Java.

Also called the lesser apes, gibbons differ from great apes (chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, orangutans and humans) in being smaller, exhibiting low sexual dimorphism, in not making nests, and in certain anatomical details in which they superficially more closely resemble monkeys than great apes do. Gibbons also display pair-bonding, unlike most of the great apes. Gibbons are masters of their primary mode of locomotion, brachiation, swinging from branch to branch for distances of up to 15 m (50 ft), at speeds as high as 56 km/h (35 mph). They can also make leaps of up to 8 m (26 ft), and walk bipedally with their arms raised for balance. They are the fastest and most agile of all tree-dwelling, non-flying mammals.[4]

Depending on species and gender, gibbons' fur coloration varies from dark to light brown shades, and anywhere in between black and white. It is rare to see a completely white gibbon.

Click here for more info...

Photo from: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Sinitta_So_Macho.jpg]

I am posting this pretending it is July 22nd (lol!)....

I was on a trip to Greenhills last Friday with bestfriend Marcy and I suddenly remembered it was Maxi's birthday (thank you my Blackberry hehehe).. So while in the cab enroute to GH, I called him up. Actually I wasn't so sure where he is (whether in Italy or in China) but then I just rang him up. And he did pick up!

I tried to remember how our conversation went so these may not be the exact words but kinda like this anyways.

Maxi: "Pronto!"
Me: "Hello."
He couldn't seem to hear me well..
Me: "Maxi?"
Maxi: "Yes?"
Me: "It's me Ann."
Maxi: (In his thick Italian accent): "Hi Ann, how are you?"
Me: "I am good. Are you in China?"
Maxi: "Yes, I am here. I am leaving on the 4th of August."
Me: "I just wanna say happy birthday Maxi."
Maxi: "Thank you, I really appreciate it."
Blah, blah, blah... etc..

Hahaahaha. Yes- I was extremely happy. I missed that thick, funny and sarcastic accent of his. I teased him about introducing to my new bf so I passed the phone to Marcy, lol. Hahahaa. He knew I was pulling his legs. He knew Marcy some years ago when we met in Manila.

And we talked about few things, his nephew (Gabriele) and niece (Vittoria), what makes him busy and his plans of vacation when he comes back in Parma.

And at the end of the call, I felt this overwhelming joy within me. I am no longer hurting indeed. I had finally accepted that this man has not loved me except being a friend from the very start and yet I was so blind not to feel it. Only because I hoped for more. Which pushed him away even more. And I lost him at some point only because I could not put myself back together.

Yes- I am no longer afraid. No longer hurt. It all happened when I finally get to see him last year. I found my way back hihihihi! Though sometimes I wish we can still talk more like old times, like old friends that we were used to, I guess he has finally moved on too.

Happy birthday again, Macho! I will always be a friend no matter what.

Yes- even when you pronounce "since" as "Science" or "minutes" as "maynuts". Lol.

Okay- I am nasty. Peace.....

"What is it you're chasing? You're chasing an empty pavement."- Adele

Oo nga naman. Ano pa ba?

While I was out sick from work because my migraine had resurfaced, I was asking this question. While down with colds and my throat is threatening to give up on me, I realized I had been feeling too much stressed lately.

I just hate it when I have migraine simply because I am forced to stay on bed all day. The worst case would leave me vomiting and this means I need to see a doctor. Last night was a bad day. But better since I didn't have to vomit. After taking my meds, I was up ready to call it a day/ night (or whatever you might call it).

I need to stop feeling uninspired. Life is more beautiful. And I need to be happy. No matter how bad my day is. Or even when it hurts, hehehe.....

For now, I chose to read this.

Baci everyone!!!!!

I had been extremely burned out. Tired. Pissed (for some reason). Restless. After a trip I almost failed to make, I was kinda feeling sad and happy. I guess when you realize something's not gonna work your way, then you feel that sort of resentment.

Perhaps due to some issues I have not been able to sort out myself. I've always been so used to resolve personal conflicts by myself and not involve anyone. My mum used to tell me amongst all her kids, I am the strongest. I never whine or complain. I am just simply a survivor I guess.

And these says, I had been feeling the need to slowly talk about what bothers me. It helps. So when you see and hear me talking to you one day about all the things which I find bothersome, just hear me out. I might just be having such a momentous day of finally sharing what I feel.

So what to do on an expected slow and uneventful weekend? Retail therapy!

I had been some thousands poorer because of some things I've decided to do without thinking too much, I still went on and made myself happier by doing some shopping. Gosh- I know, sounds lame. But hey- shopping does make me a feel a little better after a bad day, lol.

Okay- here are some of my deadly purchases and hopefully I will be a better shopper next time.

Franco Sarto

I scored this nice wedge from this shop. Oh I absolutely adore these shoes!

Kira Plastinina

I've known Kira about 2 years ago maybe. And whenever I am @ Megamall I like to see what's on this shop. Mind you, she's a fashion designer from Russia. Her fashion style caters more to the "teen" years which makes me unqualified market for Kira, but what the heck, I still adore some of her clothes, lol...

United Colors of Benetton

Can you imagine this is my first purchase from Benetton? Yeah. I am such a late bloomer, I know! I bought this nice black bag from this shop!

I am trying to be more frugal I swear.. I have been getting too much pressure from dad in saving money. I am not so keen in owning a car or a house (okay, maybe I want an apartment of my own), but so far all 2011 is a tribute all for the love of travelling. Next year could be a different story as I am planning to be more responsible in my purchases.

So please forgive me if I had to be some thousands poorer because of these buys.

I am a work in progress. Yes, even when shopping.

Ci vediamo!

So far. I am. Sane. I'd like to think so.

I almost got myself into another mess of story. Good thing I am quick smart to know something was wrong.

I know. Kinda sad.

Semi(?) broken, I guess. I thought this creature is much different to no avail. Just like the others. Just like that. The thin air which connects me to this creature must vanish. And so it did.

I knew I was trying to do something about it because what if it makes me closer to happiness? Too positive eh? Alright, I am bruised again. I like(d) this boy. I thought I did. I thought we did like each other. Or was it just me?

Moral lesson: Never mess up with boys. Only with men.

Ciao a tutti!

Photo from http://www.spicecomments.com/comments/sadness/

Yes- I keep pics of my past in my camera. And why not. Just the way you keep your old memories and photos virtually. When we asked each other why, we failed the test. We both sucked. I knew it.

And for your information, yes- I only had 3 boyfriends in my life. The last one even had not been so comfortable calling him one because I loved him more than he loved me. And while I was there painfully loving him, he was there not sure what to do with me. Worst feeling ever. I don't want to go through it anymore.

I am free as a bird, can even run wild but I chose not to. And I must admit that I was out on dates with few guys either introduced to me or have met somewhere but nothing "official" came out of it. And one of those few dates lasted for sometime I thought will be "number four" but never happened.

So please, don't think I am shopping for characters in my old, sappy DC because it's not my cup of tea. And please don't punish me for going out on dates even before we met. Again, it happened all in my past. I can find men just as easy as you can find women. But I know who/ what I wanted.

I wished I can change my past but I can't just like I can't change yours. We all have bruises and scars. But yours is just starting to heal while mine is gone. I am ready to get broken and bruised just like before. It will take a lifetime for you to mend it and I cannot simply be the one to take your tears and fears away.

I am here now. You and me that's why it's called the present. It's what we have. Our past should not matter. The future does.

You kept asking me why I opted to be on the same latitude as you were. You don't really get it, do you? I thought you were smarter than that.

I need not tell you the reason was because I thought we deserve a chance. Like a broken record, like a wounded soldier, like the falling of a leaf must to have a reason. But you still don't get it.

On the a side note, I began to question myself, why I see my feet beside yours and why my legs are on the same area as you were. Like a clueless kid who does not know the meaning of every action, it then hit me.

Game over.

And then my ride must leave. And so am I.

Allow me to say I am writing this entry with such a huge disappointment. And while I don't regret it, I am still feeling fidgety about the decisions I've made without so much thinking involved. I have always been gutsy and spontaneous but today I guess is one of those days that I wished my mother could have warned me about.....

I am crazy, brutally honest and sensitive but I just wish I should have known better.

Okay, as I always say when things didn't turn out the way I hoped them to be, at least I tried.

So here I am saying this to myself over and over again: "I guess, when the going gets tough, the tough gets going."

Till my next adventure, I guess...

Ciao a tutti

Photo from http://www.taneyparish.ie

I know I ask for too many each day
And some wishes are not meant to be
Some are foolish, some are rubbish
Even when I persist, I know it's wrong
But when I say, please hear me
You are always there
And when I start walking away
You just entice me and tell me
"It's not the best, the best has yet to come."
Dear Jesus, this might be a long shot
But hear me out, as I open my mouth
Just this one, just this one.
But I know in my heart, thy will be done.

Photo from http://www.layoutsparks.com

SOMEBODY LOVED

The Weepies

Rain turns the sand into mud
Wind turns the trees into bone
Stars turning high up above
You turn me into somebody loved

Nights when the heat had gone out
We danced together alone
Cold turned our breath into clouds
We never said what we were dreaming of
But you turned me into somebody loved

Someday when we’re old and worn
Like two softened shoes
I will wonder on how I was born
The night I first ran away from you

Now my feet turn the corner back home
Sun turns the evening to rose
Stars turning high up above
You turn me into somebody loved

The following is a repost of an entry I wrote sometime in 2009 from a blogging site I used to have.

Photo from www.jellymuffin.com

The Morning After
May 4th, 2009

Disclaimer:

The following is a description of what happened to me the morning after my happy battle. I am no expert but I was lucky that acceptance was abundant in my heart. And this is the reason why I say I am finally free.

• **********************************************************************************

I woke up thick-faced that fateful night. My eyes are swollen. My hair was a mess. For while I thought it translated what my life was all about at that point. Broken. Bleeding. Sad. After hours of crying in my sleep, now you know why.

But I needed to face another day of routine. This thing called job that feeds me. I need it to afford the ocassional trip I need when I need a boost. Or the simple joys like Dairy Queen’s blizzard in strawberry banana. I needed to get up. And so I did.

I was staring at my monitor and saw his message. He was asking how I am and if I was okay. But of course I’d say yes. I was amazed how my tears can show me what truth really means. No matter how truth really hurts, it leaves us no choice but to have the courage to move on.

I read his email for the second time. Then I started typing, putting on my happiest face and my impeccable convincing tone. I was ready to rekindle my love affair with the word “pretend”. And it was a perfect love affair indeed. He was convinced I was alright.

As I come near closing my email, I was sure I needed a change of heart. And so I started signing my letter with the two hardest words I need to say. If you want to know, go ask me. And I’ll tell you what are those words.

As they say and I quote: “When you’ve found the reason to walk away, never look back, just keep on walking. Even if the destination is unclear. Save some pride and honor for yourself. It’s better to get lost moving on than being broken and stranded after all.”